When I was a kid, I seldom ever wore jeans. I perceived them to be rigid and uncomfortable. When I was in high school, I got the first pair of jeans that I routinely wore. I had forsaken my stance of jeans being uncomfortable as I had found something that was even worse: school uniforms. Jeans were antithetical to school uniforms in my mind. The pair I got was Levi's 501 button fly jeans. For some reason, I thought button flies were cool because they embodied yet another difference between my uniform trousers and my new alternative. Since then, however, my opinion of button flies has steadily declined.

The latest addition to my repertory of button fly pants--and second purchase ever--is a pair of AE "surplus flight pants". I often wear this pair of pants to work as I'm not allowed to wear jeans. As I try to get as much work done and be as productive as possible, washroom breaks are often relegated to the end of my list of things to do. With these pants on, it's always a rather close race between getting my fly undone and springing an unwanted leak. The fly has always won the race so far (thank goodness) but much cursing under my breath ensues. I always wonder, Why would anybody want a button fly? And yesterday, as I emptied the dryer after my laundry was done, I saw a button on the resting on the bottom. Right away, I knew where it had come from: my stupid button fly. Since I don't have a sewing kit--and not that Grade 7 Home Ec taught me all that well how to use one in the first place--I'm stuck with the missing button. I think my appreciation of button flies has reached its nadir.