Spending time with family hasn’t always been easy. Many instances in recent past have taught me leeriness of family time. The many arguments we’ve had, catalyzed by all things from surfacing deep-rooted misgivings to the absurdly trivial, were painful to live through at the time and no less poignant to consider now. At the conclusion of extended family time, I’m usually itching to head back to Wisconsin, safely insulated from family by large physical distances—free to live my life away from the strong personalities of my family that bear down when I’m in their presence.

These past few weeks, I’ve spent almost every waking moment surrounded by family. And contrary to expectation, I’ve enjoyed my family time immensely. I’ve learnt several things about my family and these lessons have led me to appreciate family more than I ever have. I’ve come to view the same candour that has often precipitated arguments in a different light. My family are straight shooters: when something is disagreeable, we are not shy about it. Although this honesty is more often accompanied by brashness than tact, it’s reassuring to know that opinions expressed are genuine. And though arguments may occur with a higher frequency than any of us would want, I know we all sincerely want to put our disagreements behind us the best we can.

This past week, I’ve also come to see how sincere their concerns for me are and have always been. As I prepared my speech for my brother’s wedding, I’ve grown immensely in appreciation for him. While I’ve often viewed my brother as the consummate tormentor, further reflection upon our past has cemented in my mind the fact that his cruelty has always been more than atoned for by how he’s always looked out for me—and how today he continues to do so. (And all in spite of my role as spoiled brat of the family.) We’ve had some conversations these past weeks that I will not forget for a while to come.

And finally, I’ve learnt that we’re still able just to enjoy each others’ company, whether through a game of 天九 or sitting around a few good dishes of food. Every time that I leave Toronto, I tend to miss it rather soon. No, it’s not the sights or the food: the more I think about it, I realize it’s actually the family that I miss most.