I think I've finally cracked. This whole qualifier exam is really getting to me. So tonight, instead of doing one final past exam, I broke down. I watched VH1's "40 Most Softsational Soft-Rock Songs" with my roommate. There I was, sprawled out on the couch and singing aloud to gems by The Carpenters, Anne Murray, Olivia Newton-John, Cat Stevens, and pretty much anyone who had had a soft rock hit in the '70s and '80s. It was usually the choruses I was most familiar with, and that's when the humming gave way to my most enthusiastic vocal deliveries. (I think my roommate has already become inured to the not-so-occasional bouts of surfacing insanity.) For many of the songs, I did not at first recognize the title or the name of the music sensation that spawned the hit. But when the music got going, I'd let out an excited "ooh!" and let the music just carry me away with it. There were, of course, songs that I didn't like (such as anything by Barry Manilow)--and I let my roommate know that I did not consider them softsational--but I let it slide and eagerly awaited the next song, having faith that VH1 with its profound knowledge of Soft-Rock Songs would atone for the lapse of judgment and choose something that was truly worthy for its countdown.

Now, that I like music and that music can cheer me up is nothing new. For years, I have relied on the cathartic releases of playing piano or vegging to some loud rock. But this is not normally what I listen to. This was soft rock, a genre for which I had erstwhile declared a profusely intense loathing--and definitely more than once. But today was different; I deemed soft rock glorious. I relished every note, devoured all the hooks, and grooved away to a magic I had never noticed before.

And so this sudden change of heart leaves me more than a little worried. I'm rather distraught that I have discovered even a capacity to enjoy soft-rock songs and that thought is making me rather sick. I blame this total collapse of musical probity solely on the stress caused by the qualifier. But then there's the concept of wish bias in assessing whether exposure is truly associated with outcome. According to Gordis (1996), "The term 'wish bias' was coined by Wynder and coworkers to denote the bias introduced by subjects who have developed a disease and who in attempting to answer the question 'Why me?' seek to show that the disease is not their fault." Hmm... When I start classifying random things--such as a penchant for soft rock--as disease and apply epidemiological constructs to rationalize these phenomena, there can be no explanation other than that I have indeed cracked.